Lost Art Of Listening: How Learning To Listen Can Improve...

Item Information
Item#: 9781462542741
Edition 03
Author Nicols & Straus
Cover Paperback

"That isn't what I meant!"Truly listening and being heard is far from simple, even between people who care about each other.This perennial bestseller--now revised and updated for the digital age--has helped more than 150,000 readers resolve conflicts and transform their personal and professional relationships. Renowned therapist Michael P. Nichols analyzes how any conversation can go off the rails and provides essential skills for building mutual understanding. Thoughtful, witty, and empathic, the book is filled with vivid stories of couples, coworkers, friends, and family working through tough emotions and navigating differences of all kinds. With new coauthor Martha B. Straus, the third edition reflects the huge impact of technology and social media on relationships, and gives advice for talking to loved ones across social and political divides.

Table of Contents
I. The Yearning to Be Understood
1. "Did You Hear What I Said?": Why Listening Is So Important
2. "Thanks for Listening": How Listening Shapes Us and Connects Us to Each Other
3. "Why Don't People Listen?": How Communication Breaks Down
II. The Real Reasons People Don't Listen
4. "When Is ItMyTurn?": The Heart of Listening--The Struggle to Suspend Our Own Needs
5. "You Hear Only What You Want to Hear": How Hidden Assumptions Prejudice Listening
6. "Why Do You Always Overreact?": How Emotionality Makes Us Defensive
III. Getting Through to Each Other
7. "Take Your Time--I'm Listening": How to Let Go of Your Own Needs and Listen
8. "I Never Knew You Felt That Way": Empathy Begins with Openness
9. "I Can See This Is Really Upsetting You": How to Defuse Emotional Reactivity
IV. Listening in Context
10. "It Takes Two to Tango": Listening Between Intimate Partners
11. "Nobody Around Here Ever Listens to Me!": How to Listen and Be Heard within the Family
12. "I KnewYou'dUnderstand": Being Able to Hear Friends and Colleagues
13. "I'm Not Wasting My Time Talking toThatPerson!": How to Listen to People It's Impossible to Agree With