Reconnect with what matters, reclaim your mental health, and live by your own rules.

Do you strive to have the perfect body, the perfect relationship, the perfect diet and wardrobe, the perfect job, and the perfect life? Have you worked tirelessly at your job—even during illness—so that you can further your career? Do you feel like no matter what, you’ll never be as smart, as attractive, or as rich as you’d like? If so, you are far from alone. External influences like social media, wellness culture, and hustle culture pressure us to strive toward unrealistic goals that leave us feeling anxious, burned out, and like we’re never enough. Isn’t it time we say, enough?

In this groundbreaking book, clinical psychologist Paula Freedman offers a clear path to help you move beyond toxic striving—the relentless pursuit of perfection, societal ideals, and external validation at the expense of your physical, mental, and emotional health—and instead turn inward for guidance. Using a combination of evidence-based tools and strategies grounded in acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) and intuitive eating, you’ll gain the insight needed to reconnect with your true values, reclaim your physical and mental health, develop unwavering self-compassion and confidence, and live by your own rules.

You’ll also find profound and practical guidance to:

Identify how and when you stopped trusting your own mind, body, and emotions—and started living according to society’s standards Set goals that align with your personal values—instead of society’s expectations Develop skills to defuse from restrictive and self-punishing thoughts, so you can be kinder to yourself Learn how to be an observer of your emotions—rather than letting them control you Stop beating yourself up for gaining weight, and view yourself and your body as more than just the perfect selfie Set effective boundaries with anyone who makes you feel ashamed of yourself for how you look, how much you get done in your day, or anything else!  

If you’re exhausted from the daily grind and fed up with feeling like you aren’t enough—it’s time to look within yourself. From now on, you are the expert on you.

“Toxic Striving provides a wealth of information on how we often fall into patterns that aren’t true to who we are or what we want to be. Through relatable stories and reflection questions that spark ‘aha’ moments of self-awareness and a rekindling of the long-ignored intuition, Toxic Striving helps break unhelpful striving patterns, fosters a connection with our values, and guides us in creating an authentic life.” 
—Sarah Pegrum, psychologist, and author of Break the Binds of Weight Stigma

“Paula Freedman-Diamond illuminates the connection between wellness culture and productivity culture; by making this important bridge, she is able to guide readers to regain trust in themselves and opt out of toxic striving using practical, evidence-based strategies from ACT and intuitive eating.” 
—Alexis Conason, psychologist, and author of The Diet-Free Revolution

“Paula Freedman-Diamond candidly talks about how her quest for perfection was her way of quieting her inner critic. She shows us how striving for unrealistic standards rooted in racism, misogyny, ableism, and ageism are then promoted by diet, wellness, and hustle culture. Through tools derived from acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) and intuitive eating, this valuable book offers a way out of this all-encompassing life toward the freedom that comes with inner trust.” 
—Elyse Resch, MS, RDN, CEDS-S, FAND Nutrition Therapist, coauthor of Intuitive Eating, and author of The Intuitive Eating Workbook for Teens

“In this gem of a book, Paula Freedman-Diamond weaves together the intersection of the culture of productivity and perfectionism with diet and wellness culture. Written with warmth and clarity, Toxic Striving will give you the tools to explore your true values, honor your needs, and practice self-care from a place of attunement so that you can develop a peaceful relationship with food and live a more authentic and satisfying life. Five stars!” 
—Judith Matz, LCSW, coauthor of The Emotional Eating, Chronic Dieting, Binge Eating, and Body Image Workbook and Beyond a Shadow of a Diet

“In a personal, practical, and deeply empowering way, Freedman-Diamond helps readers identify the sneaky, quiet ways toxic striving has infiltrated our lives and stolen our joy and power. As she writes, ‘This book won’t give you answers; it will help you discover your own answers.’ She accomplishes her end goal of helping readers find ourselves in the midst of toxic messaging begging us to abandon ourselves in favor of perfection.” 
—Lexie Kite, PhD, coauthor of More Than a Body

“This is a fun book to read. It is filled with captivating anecdotes and exercises from a handful of empirically supported treatments, including ACT. Anyone struggling with clinical perfectionism, self-judgment, or body image issues should read from this book and practice what it teaches.” 
—Michael Twohig, PhD, professor of psychology at Utah State University, and coauthor of The Anxious Perfectionist