From Adam & Eve to Zabar’s, this humorous survey of Jewish history is the most outrageous and unreliable account of the Jewish people’s wanderings since…the Torah.

“A hilarious and informative Judaism lesson wrapped in a comedy special.” —Jewish Journal

“A delightful companion to the Torah, the Talmud, and every history book every written about the Jewish people…a perfect book for anyone who has ever wondered how the heck the Jews got here and where the heck are we going and is it okay to laugh about it all? I’ll follow Kutner to the answer.” —Mayim Bialik, Actor, Author, Neuroscientist

A hilarious read for those with even the most basic level of Jewish knowledge, and the perfect gift for those who want to know more.

The Jews: 5,000 Years and Counting is packed with Jew-facts, Jew-figures, and the original, never-before-seen documents from those who lived through Jewish history. Read the transcript of the Biblical Patriarchs’ and Matriarchs’ Group Therapy Session! Sneak a peek at Moses’ Secret Diary, or check out the awkward “I’m dumping you” text chain from Spain to the Jews in 1492! Collect and trade Rabbi Action Cards!

Covering every major moment in Jewish history from the literal “Beginning” to Tuesday’s rerun of Seinfeld, this book will make you laugh. It might inadvertently make you learn. If you’re Jewish, it will unquestionably give you something to kvetch about.

“Reading this book will make your mother proud.”

“Rob Kutner has done it again. Only this time, it’s serious. And seriously funny. This book is an absolute dream—a delightful companion to the Torah, the Talmud, and every history book every written about the Jewish people with historically accurate and grounded insights on Jewish history as well as every facet of how our history impacts women, homosexuality, politics, and antisemitism. I would not expect anything less than brilliant from Kutner, but in this case, he has created a perfect book for anyone who has ever wondered how the heck the Jews got here and where the heck are we going and is it okay to laugh about it all? I’ll follow Kutner to the answer.”

“I foresee great laughter in your future if you buy this book.”

“So good I'm thinking of converting!”

“Wow! Kutner’s extensive and comprehensive history of the Jews is a great gift for both Jews and non-Jews of all ages. The millennial saga of the Jews, presented through a humorous lens, is a great contribution to Jewish humor.”

“A hilarious and informative Judaism lesson wrapped in a comedy special.”

“Funny, irreverent, and packed with both inventiveness and information, The Jews is a terrific way to get to know, well, Jews!”

“The Jews is not only incredibly readable and informative, but also laugh out loud funny. Kutner walks a tightrope of what could have either come off as dry history and/or offensive comedy, but instead, nails the landing. And yes, I did just mix my performative sports metaphors.”

“Hilarious, smart, and fearless, and there’s even a musical number—this book totally checks all my Jew-boxes.”